INTERVIEW WITH JUDY MACNAK

Judy Macnak� son, 24, is a medic with the 782 Medical Supply Battalion (MSB). He is based near Fallujah and will arrived back in the US in April 4, 2004.

Judy: My son was visiting his older sister in Las Vegas on 9/11. After that attack, he decided to enlist in the military where, he said, �e might do some good.�My daughter was and is supportive of his enlistment although she expresses concern these days. [Judy� interview took place two days after the gruesome ambush of contactors in Fallujah.] I didn� try to encourage or discourage my son in his decision; I don� know what my son is on this earth to do. Who am I to say what he can or can� do?

After my son� basic training he did his sixteen weeks of medic training in St. Antonio. Before enlisting he had done a few classes for Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) and had been excited by that work so medic training was a good fit for him. He� hoped to become a Ranger and received the longer medical training of Army Rangers but that didn� work out. I think he� eventually like to become Physician� Assistant (PA).

As the mom of a soldier I have a combination of feelings. I want to stay positive about his safety but I always have a low level of anxiety that bubbles to the surface every now and again. I was tremendously relieved when he contacted us after his tour of duty was over �for the time being �and he arrived in Kuwait.

I noticed a shift in his thinking while he was serving in Iraq. He doesn� agree with our current administration and he asks questions about what it is we �the US military �is doing in Iraq. Sometimes I have to read between the lines but I can always tell what his mood is, sometimes he� upbeat, sometimes he� not. He has told me that "we were sent here for the wrong reasons and have effected little positive permanent change." 

I don� believe we�l get anywhere by telling Iraqis how to run their country but, now that we�e there and we�e made a mess of their country, I believe we need to clean up what we�e done.

My husband and I live in Juneau and on March 20 we participated in our local ceremony marking the one year anniversary of the war. About 150 people gathered, including folks from Juneau People for Peace and Justice and Veterans for Peace. My husband spoke and I offered a prayer. It was a lovely ceremony with relatively few negative moments.

I work at a local clinic where I am a Registered Nurse.

I� also a licensed massage therapist. I studied the 2nd level professional intensive course at Phillips School of Massage in California and I� like to share some of my learning.

Part of our clinical work involved giving massages to Vietnam veterans with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Mary Tendall, the counselor working with vets, helped massage therapists understand PTSD, its background, and general issues.

During classes we explored what therapists bring to the massage table in terms of knowledge and awareness, and, most importantly, in terms of our own physical and emotional presence.

There exists a body of scientific knowledge that indicates tissues and cells of the body -- not just in the brain, but the entire body -- retains memory. While tissue regenerates and new cells continually replace old cells, tissue and cellular memory passes through genetic material, so old memories pass to new cells and tissues. In this way, all sorts of memories, from intense love to intense fear, are carried through time and affect how each of us responds to new situations.

Working with the physical body with physical massage unlocks old memories in ways that can be both wonderfully cathartic as well as potentially frightening. In these moments, the massage therapist� presence at the massage table makes all the difference in encouraging various responses. An experienced and empathic massage therapist not only allows a client to release physical and emotional traumas �via shaking, sweating, crying, and so on -- but also guides a client to remain present, aware, and accepting of her or his body� responses. An experienced massage therapist also discourages a client from dissociating from her or his responses. The rationale for this is that hiding from past fears that still reside in the body� tissues and cells means hiding from a part of one� self, denying the possibility of returning to a state of wholeness, and thwarting the integration of the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of one� self.

Figuring out ways that allow one's client to trust others is a big part of what massage therapists face when working with war veterans. An experience and empathic massage therapist knows that, forty years after their initial traumas during combat, some vets are still mentally �and often, literally �vigilantly checking the perimeters of their safety zones for danger. Such a therapist knows simple things that are conducive to creating a trusting relationship when working intimately with a client, such as: beginning a session of massage with the client lying on her or his back facing the therapist �rather than face down with her or his back vulnerable and exposed�nd telling the client what to expect and what will be done at each step of the session.

I think about the men and women who have recently experienced or are now experiencing combat in Afghanistan, Iraq, or other area, and I hope bodywork is integrated into their care and recovery. With a competent therapist and an atmosphere of patience, acceptance and emotional warmth, soldiers can allow the release of tissue and cellular memories that threaten to taint their lives.

Bodywork, in conjunction with other therapies, is truly a learning and emotionally opening experience for combat veteran clients as well as their therapists. It makes a world of difference.