INTERVIEW WITH KATE WALSH

Sue Rosenblum is a member of 9/11 Families for Peaceful Tomorrows. Her son, Joshua, 28, was killed in the World Trade Center attack.

Sue: I firmly believe in peaceful means to solve problems. And that education is the key to peace. I�e become very vocal about these beliefs since 9/11 �to the point that local television stations in southern Florida call me when they want a mother� perspective on breaking news. That is ironic as I don� watch television anymore.

My son, Joshua, the youngest of our five children, worked for Cantor Fitzgerald as did his fianc. His fianc, in fact, was working in the Trade Center when the bomb exploded in the parking garage in 1993. At that time, her mother had suggested she find a different job that would get her out the Center. She didn� but she wasn� in the office on 9/11. Josh, though, had gone to the office to finalize some work before he left for Bermuda on September 12. They were to be married on September 15.

On September 11, I left home early and, as I was driving, my husband called on my cell phone and asked me to pull over to the side of the road. I did that and he told me an airplane had hit the World Trade Center. He said he was leaving his office for home and asked that I meet him there. At home, we watched the news unfold on television: the attack on the second tower, the collapse of the towers. The north tower was the first hit but the second to fall and I said over and over to myself, �un, Josh, run.�

My daughter called from New York and asked us please to go there, which we did. It was soon apparent that Cantor Fitzgerald had taken a major hit. Their offices spanned North Tower floors 101 through 105, almost exactly where the plane penetrated the building. Six hundred and fifty-eight employees died that day, more than the Port Authority, NY Police Department, and NY Fire Department combined. The company pledged money and extended health benefits to remaining family members and they�e kept that pledge.

We never recovered Josh� remains.

As much as I found myself wanting to blame someone for 9/11, I don� blame Bush directly. While I can� put myself through watching or listening to what I consider the highly stylized ritual of hearings into 9/11, I do have many questions. For example, since they had been so much chatter about potential skyjackings, why weren� airplane cockpits secured with lockable doors? In the five days after the attack when there was no non-military air traffic over US airspace, why were several civilian airplanes allowed to pick up Saudis and fly them out of the country, including members of the bin Laden family?

To make sense out of my son� death in a way that, for me, doesn� breed hatred, I�e come to terms with this tragedy being part of God� plan. Josh was always a larger than life person. He� had an almost fatal accident when he was just five years old and had had multiple surgeries. As he grew up he seemed to adopt the attitude that he� beaten that horrible experience and that he was going to live life to the full. He worked hard and he played hard. I, on the other hand, always had a sense that Josh would not live a very long life. I� not sure why or where that feeling came from but it was there. Now I believe that he� playing a part in a larger plan that this evil thing will, eventually, turn around.

I watched the build up to war and was �still am �very opposed to it. I heard Bush use 9/11 as an excuse for war and I� opposed to that too.

In our part of southern Florida everyone is anti-Bush. The northern part of the state tends to be more Christian and pro-Bush but down here, no, that� not the case at all. At the same time, however, I see how engrossed people are in their own lives, in making a living, and women who have nothing better to do than go shopping; they pay very little attention to the wars we�e involved in.

I have become much more active and vocal and I volunteer for things I believe in. My husband has been devastated by Josh� death and the aftermath. Women deal with things differently than men do and my husband really fell apart. He� never fully recovered.

Do you know, not a single family who lost someone on 9/11 has ever heard one word directly from President Bush? Don� you think we deserve better than that?

I have experienced a mother's worst nightmare and live with pain and grief 24/7 . . . which isn't made any easier as 9/11 is in the news almost every day. I have been asked how I manage to get through this. My reply: During the first year, even into the second, I received countless cards, letters, even phone calls from people all over the country that I didn't know, total strangers. Each and every person who reached out touched my heart; each and every act of kindness I believe was and continues to be an act of God. It not only got me over the initial shock but allowed me, like Anne Frank, to believe people are basically good.

I apply Chaos Theory or the Butterfly Effect to my conviction that only through peace will this world survive: if a butterfly in Africa flaps its wings it causes a ripple of air which can create a hurricane halfway around the world. If we all flap our wings we�l affect change.